Summer Editorial Series – The Pinko Commie Manifesto

“Actually I'm wearing pink for all the pinkos out there that ride bicycles and everything.” That’s what Don Cherry told the gathered politicians, reporters and general public in December at the swearing in of Mayor Rob Ford. Undoubtedly, this admission was prompted by the audible gasps heard form the crowd when Cherry stood up in a hot pink sports coat that would even make Barbie call gauche on the Hockey Night in Canada commentator.

The “pinkos” Cherry was referring to were people vocally opposed to Mayor Ford’s “roads are for cars only” policy. “Grapes” then went on to compare Ford favourably to former OPP Chief Julian Fantino, and lauded both men for their honesty before wrapping up his address with a hearty “put that in your pipe, you left-wing kooks.” Don Cherry, class act.

But this editorial’s not about Cherry, or even Ford for that matter (he’s suffered enough… for now). But Cherry’s comment is the harsh reaction that encapsulates a growing feeling of negativity towards bikes and bike riders. In Guelph, the philosophy of a city being bike friendly was tested again recently with the introduction of a bike box at the intersection of Stone Road and Chancellor’s Way.

For the uninitiated, a bike box is a space reserved for bikes at an intersection where a bicyclist can pull up in front of a line of cars and thus get to turn the corner before the car traffic. The use and implementation of the bike box falls in a kind of grey area so far as traffic law is concerned, but some are wondering why the city’s squandering so much time and effort to accommodate bike riders when many of them either a) don’t obey traffic rules to begin with, or b) are a nuisance and the city should be more occupied with improving traffic flow. CAR TRAFFIC.

Others have mentioned that a lot of bicyclists don’t use the roads, and still use sidewalks when perfectly good bike lanes are already there. A reasonable point, but speaking as a bike rider myself – not to mention the fact that I’m also a frequent pedestrian – car drivers in the City of Guelph are scary as hell. Scary. As. Hell.

I have been at an intersection, crossing with the light, walking at a reasonable pace, and have seen out of the corner of my eye some car creeping around the corner so that they literally don’t have to stop for me. There’s something so sinister in this. A tacit implication that maybe if you don’t start moving faster then this car driver will lower the boom on the gas petal and just mow you out of the way. And then there are the ones that don’t slow down at all. The ones that take the corner and miss you by inches. You can literally feel that breath of wind as the car just zoomed around the corner behind you.

Now that’s not to say that bicyclists are victimless. Certainly there are a number of riders who are rude, they ride too fast, they don’t observe basic safety, they don’t signal and they switch from sidewalk to road with reckless abandon. But for the cautious majority, I can understand perfectly the nagging fear that riding on roads, especially ones with no clear bike lane, can lead to potential doom. To coin a phrase, in the battle of car versus bike, the car always wins.

There was a headline lately that Guelph Police had fined 36 bicyclists in a safety blitz, mostly for riding on the sidewalk and disobeying traffic lights and stop signs. I bet the amount collected from 36 bike riders will be a tidy sum, maybe enough for the Chief of Police to buy everyone at the precinct a donut and coffee. But as I pointed out last week, it was reported in April that the City has yet to collect $5.2 million in overdue fines going back six years for offenses like speeding and careless driving. I predict that any rider defaulting on his ticket will have the court system on him faster than by-law on Led Zeppelin.

This isn’t a call for bicyclist anarchy in the Royal City, but an appeal for rationalization. Bikes are fun, they encourage exercise and they’re part of a more sustainable, liveable community. And while people on bikes may occasionally skirt the law out of indifference or ignorance, the same can be said for car drivers, and the potential negative effects can be much more severe. For years, the term “pedal to metal” was associated with driving fast in your car. Let’s change that. Let’s make bike riding gangsta, and leave commie comments to the guy in the pink sports coat.

Part the Third: The Song Remains the Same

My original thought for this week’s column was to write about the growing gulf of disgruntlement between the city’s car drivers and its bike riders, but then something unusual happened: 1969 broke out downtown. In an effort to peacefully protest the going-on five year construct-a-thon on upper-Carden Street, Kris and Adrian Raso, brother/owners of Little Shop of Guitars fought fire with “Kashmir” and other great hits from the Zepplin catalogue.

Unsurprisingly perhaps, it didn’t long for by-law to get suited and (jack)booted, marching over to the Raso’s shop to tell them to stop pumping up the jams. You see, the Little Shop is just across the road from both City Hall and the courthouse, and people in those buildings complained that the music was an irritant and disruptive. Just to be clear, do you mean to tell me that a little Zep is more of a nuisance than some 40 tonnes or more of construction machinery moving in and out of the area?

What’s especially impressive is the response time. Granted, by-law officers could walk, saunter if you will, from City Hall to the guitar store, but the music started playing Wednesday afternoon, and the first visit by by-law was shortly there after. Now that is service. God knows that whenever I’ve called by-law, the only way I could get a response that quick is with a four-leaf clover, three rabbits’ feet and a purple horse shoe. But all the lucky charms in the world are worthless when it comes to certain occasions in my neighbourhood where the parking is limited, but the laziness of drivers is not.

The stage of today’s little drama is Margaret Green Park off Westwood Rd. in the city’s west end. It was a Sunday in November, and members of my family were taking my sister to a birthday breakfast at a popular Guelph eatery. Like idiots, we take the bus and so gathered at the bus stop along Westwood. Now typically, as per city by-law, there’s no parking in front of or around city bus stops. But today there was a cross-country activity in the park, and thus a lot of people coming to enjoy the greenery at Margaret Green. So to everyone’s surprise, and nobody’s knowledge, parking in front of the bus stop, and up Westwood, and on the bridge over the Hanlon Parkway had been allowed.

Try to tell any of these scofflaws that parking’s not allowed in these areas and they’ll complain that it’s the only place they can park. Apparently, there’s some little used amendment in the Highway Traffic Act that says parking laws can be ignored in the event of parking running out. Wait a minute. No there isn’t! They just wish there was. And to add insult to injury, just a year earlier, the city shuffled around the playground equipment in Margaret Green Park, so as to create a new 20-space lot. They literally paved paradise and put up a parking lot and there was still not enough parking to suit people.

But where was by-law enforcement? I don’t know, but two hours later, coming home from breakfast, there was only a hapless City of Guelph employee trying to tell people that they couldn’t park on the two lane bridge over the Hanlon because it’s against the law, AND ONLY TWO LANES WIDE. (Sorry about the caps, but Hulk’s ready to smash over here.) I talked to this man, not as a reporter, but as a neighbourhood resident, and though he seemed a little out of his depth, he was doing the best he could do.

The one thing he could have used was by-law enforcement out in, you know, force. I heard once that the city has about $5 million in uncollected fines for speeding and careless driving. If the city went after these people with the same zeal as they took on the Raso Brothers, we could go a year without hearing the words “budget crunch.”

Which brings us full circle. And while no one outside Kevin Arnold’s dad would consider the music of Led Zepplin tunes of the Devil’s choice, the Raso’s simple and elegant protest has brought something real to the forefront. Construction can cost in more than one way, and for the merchants in that part of downtown, the half decade renovations across the street may be near a breaking point. And now that the tension is broke, perhaps relations between City Hall and the Little Shop of Guitars can be a little less “When the Levee Breaks” and a little more “Stairway to Heaven.”

Yes, I just wrote that. You’re welcome.

Green Fleet, Clean-Up & War with Kitchener

City Fleet Going Green

All City of Guelph vehicles and equipment will now be subject to stringent guidelines aimed at reducing fleet operating costs and reducing greenhouse gas emissions, this coming out of the Emergency Services, Community Services & Operations Committee meeting last week. Mostly, these steps have to do with fuel efficiency: how to use vehicles, how to cut down on idling, and how to choose the right vehicle for the right job. “Lowering the amount of greenhouse gas emissions produced by our fleet is a win-win situation,” says Mayor Karen Farbridge in a city press release. “It supports the goals of our Community Energy Plan, while saving on fuel costs at the same time. I want to thank Operations staff for their commitment to this program." The new guidelines and accompanying training for city staff is in preparation for the city’s first E3 (Energy, Environment, Excellence) review. E3 is North America’s first green rating program for vehicle fleets, that evaluates, audits and recognizes fleets for their efforts in reducing smog and greenhouse gas emissions, fuel use and costs. The review is expected to be done this April.

Clean-Up Crew Looking for Feedback

The Ontario Public Interest Research Group is looking for feedback from the general public as to how they can improve community support for their annual Speed River Clean-Up program. “The spark has gone out of it,” said Alison Morrison, Speed River Project co-ordinator with OPIRG told the Tribune. “Our numbers are dwindling, and we’re not even sure of the impact of sending 200 people into the river on a Saturday morning.” The Clean-Up, which happens every June, recruits volunteers from the community to wade out into the Speed River, and along its banks, in order to clean-up garbage and debris. Among suggested improvements, Morrison offers the possibility of moving the Clean-Up’s base from Royal City Park to Riverside Park, but Morrison says that no changes will be made without public input. “The neat thing about a clean-up is that it’s so simple and it’s a gateway for anybody who has a little bit of an interest in environmental issues,” said Morrison. If you’re interested in giving OPIRG your feedback, then put this address into your web browser: http://speedrivercleanup.freeforums.org/

It’s War: Kitchener vs. Guelph

Who would have guessed that when a 19-year-old Kitchener woman was charged with mischief in a dust-up between Olympic torch security and anti-Olympic protestors in December, that it was a sign of things to come. That’s right, Guelphites, it’s war and the K-W has been hitting us pretty hard the last few weeks. First, a Kitchener man was charged with mischief after phoning Waterloo Regional Police over the Valentine’s Day weekend and telling them that he planted six pipe bombs inside Polycon Industries in Guelph after they fired him. Guelph Police evacuated the plant and searched it and presumably found nothing since the 51-year-old man was charged merely with mischief. Next there was the case of six Kitchener men charged with a string of electronic store break-ins across Guelph and Waterloo Region. Come on, citizens! I say let’s leave the inter-city rivalry where it belongs: on the ice at OHL hockey games with the Storm and the Rangers.

Piss and Approval

Taking the piss(oirs) out in downtown

This week you may have noticed something new and different downtown, especially if you were caught with the sudden desire “to go.” Yes indeed, the highly controversial open air urinals, or pissoirs, are being installed this week, two of them anyway. The pissoirs will be set up at the Macdonell Street municipal parking lot (behind the ticket booth), just west of Wyndham, and at the northwest corner of Carden and Wyndham and will remain their for an eight week trial period as the Downtown Night Life Task Force assess their success in cutting down on public urination. The pissoirs are part of a three-part program with that goal in mind, the other two parts involve a public education campaign and stepped-up enforcement of the anti-fouling bylaw, which allows for a $240 fine for public urination. In July, Guelph City Council approved the $8,400 pilot project, which will cover the rental and maintenance cost of the two pissoirs for eight weeks. An additional $4,200 from downtown stakeholders will be spent on a public education campaign that includes posters for downtown establishments and signs for the pissoirs.

Valeriote: Show us the cash for clunkers, or don’t

Last week in the U.S., the government’s highly popular “cash for clunkers” program ended after running out of funds, but could something similar be enacted here in Canada to help our auto industry? Our local MP and Chair of the Liberal Auto Caucus, Frank Valeriote’s not sure, but he’d like to see the government make a decision either way. “Instead of stimulating car sales, one way or the other, people are now holding onto their vehicles on the chance this government may be offering a significant incentive at some point in the future,” said Valeriote in a press release. The release went on to say that although the U.S. program saw sales go up to 750,000, it’s difficult to know if people were acting out of need or out of the bargains offered. Also, international trade law prohibits establishing a proviso that says a program can only apply to domestic automakers, so there’s no guarantee that money will go to the companies that need it. Either way though, Valeriote wants the Conservatives to quit stalling. “While the merit of a scrappage program, and the model used is ultimately relevant, at this point this government’s ongoing speculation must stop. Either provide a substantial program or stop chatting about it—it’s a simple as that.”

MNR says HCBP is AOK

Well, it took the Ministry of Natural Resources about half a month to come back to the City and say, all’s cool on the Hanlon Creek Business Park front. Donna Cansfield, Ontario’s Minister of Natural Resources, last Thursday that Drexler Construction, the company contracted by the city of Guelph to do the work, can finish a culvert and water main already started on the site’s east side, according to the Guelph Mercury. There are restrictions however. This is the only work that can be done on the site, no work is to be done at night, and further testing in the area for the Jefferson Salamander must be done next Spring before any more construction on the site can move forward. “We’re pleased on two fronts,” said Mayor Karen Farbridge. “We’re happy with the time it took to come to a decision; well within the 30 days. And we’re happy with the content of the decision.” But what of the protesters that occupied the HCBP site for three weeks, what’s their reaction? “If this development continues, it will be a loss for everyone… The minister’s decision does not legitimize the destruction this development will cause,” Shabina Lafleur-Gangji wrote in an email to the Mercury. Construction is expected to move forward immediately, with the deadline of September 15^th for the completion of this phase expected to be extended.